


Scary Assassin

by iloveitblue



Series: Prompts [381]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-12
Updated: 2017-05-15
Packaged: 2018-07-14 15:54:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7178513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iloveitblue/pseuds/iloveitblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where they try to figure out which of their assassins is the scariest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> “Have you _seen_  the way Natasha holds a knife?” Steve asked.

“It’s like she can filet you, without even using the knife.” Bruce said absently. “Now that’s scary.”

“Yes, but you’re forgetting that Bucky has his metal arm. He _literally_  does not need a knife.” Tony argued. 

“Plus, he was trained to kill.” Sam added. “He was practically _made_ to kill.”

“And Natasha isn’t?” Steve asked. “I might not know a lot about Natasha, but I do know that she was trained from when she was a child to kill.”

“What are they arguing about this time?” Vision asked Wanda who was making a salad. 

“Who the scariest is between our resident assassins. They somehow wound up talking about the kills.” Wanda shrugged.

“Isn’t that a bit…”

“Crass? Immature? Impolite?”

“I was going to say pointless, but those too.”

Wanda sighed, more to herself than to any other. “Which is why I try to stay away from it. They think the Natasha and Bucky don’t know,” She presented him with the salad, “Want to share this?”

“I appreciate the gesture, but no, thank you.”

Wanda walked away from the commotion of the kitchen and towards the living room. Vision followed her out, opting to stay away from the discussion.

“Natasha can use her heels as weapons.”

“Bucky wouldn’t be caught dead without a single weapon on his person.”

“Natasha has over 300 confirmed kills.”

“Bucky has more than that. And that’s just the ones on record.”

“Natasha licks her knife at dinner after she’s done with it.” 

“I caught Bucky juggling grenades once.”

“Natasha can probably kill you with a pinky.”

“Bucky can probably do a lot worse with less.”

“What is going on here?” Phil asked when he entered the room to find Steve and Tony growling at each other while Bruce and Thor sat quietly next to them. 

“…a rousing debate?” Bruce offered.

“The son of Coul can decide once and for all.” Thor suggested. 

“No way,” Tony crossed his arms. “He’s totally biased towards Natasha.” 

“What is it about this time?” Phil asked tiredly.

“Tony thinks that Bucky is scarier than Natasha, which makes absolutely no sense at all.” Steve said.

“Uh, two things you got wrong in that sentence,” He raised two fingers at Steve. “One, I _know_  that Bucky is scarier than Natasha, and two, I make all kinds of sense. It’s not my fault you don’t understand my genius.”

“Arguments?” Phil asked, walking towards the fridge and taking the orange juice out.

“Okay, the only reason why Bucky is even remotely scary is because he was brainwashed into killing all those people. I’ve known Bucky since I was young, he wouldn’t hurt a fly unless there was reason to” Steve said. “Natasha on the other hand was-”

“Ripped from society, pushed into a way of life that she never chose, Forced to kill people she didn’t know,” Tony interrupted. “Yeah, doesn’t sound any different from Bucky, if you ask me.”

“Regardless,” Phil said after a while. OJ already in his hand. “Both of you are wrong.” Steve and Tony looked at him, confused. “You said it both yourselves. They didn’t choose this life. They never wanted to do any of those things. They were forced into doing jobs they didn’t like.” He paused, putting the galon back into the fridge and facing them. “On the other hand, Clint Barton chose his marks. He chose to be an assassin, and he chose to stop. He chose to who to kill, for the right price, and he chose who lived. He has mastered his job so well that you can put him in a room of a hundred people, and leave with only his mark dead. If you don’t think that’s scary, then you’re both idiots.” Phil smirked and walked away, only to pause underneath the threshold. “Oh and by the way, this type of conversation is completely unbecoming. Please avoid any and all future conversations like it.”

And just like that, the debate was over.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Are we watching Inception again?” Clint asked as he entered the room, carrying a giant bowl of popcorn, “because I’d rather just shoot someone than sit through another two hours of Leo messing with people’s heads.” He said nonchalantly, throwing a kernel in the air and catching it in his mouth.

There was a palpable silence in the room for a split second before Steve cleared his throat, “What would you rather watch, Clint?” He smiled at the archer.

“It’s Tony’s turn to pick, Cap.” Natasha pointed out. 

“I’m sure Tony’s fine with it, right Tony?” Steve turned to the genius and gave him a _look_. 

Tony nodded and threw the remote at Clint, “Yeah, sure. I don’t mind, Lego- Clint.”

“Sweet,” Clint grinned and started scrolling through the massive library of movies Tony had in his system when Natasha stole the remote from him.

“It’s Tony’s turn to choose the movie and he chose Inception. We’re watching Inception.” She said with finality, placing the remote on the coffee table. 

Clint made booing sounds for all of five seconds before finally shutting up and settling down to watch the movie. All the while, Natasha noticed the others giving each other worried glances. 

—

After that night, the others acted strange around Clint. Well, weirder than usual. They avoided him as much as possible and gave in to his requests. They tried not to irritate him by getting out of his way. In fact, they were more careful around Clint than they were around Bruce.

It was almost as if they were… _scared_  of Clint. 

Natasha raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow every time any of her team mates scurried away from the archer. It was funny the first few times it happened but now, even Clint was starting to notice. If this went on, Clint was going to start thinking about things again. Things that will make him want to quit working with the Avengers and force him to be alone again.

That won’t do at all. 

—

“That may be my fault.” Phil confessed after Natasha laid out all of the facts she had. She raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow at him, wordlessly asking him to explain further. Phil sighed, “A few days ago, they were arguing about a particularly ridiculous subject and they asked for my opinion so I gave it to them, and it might have led them to believe that Clint is dangerous.”

Natasha sighed as well, “Do I want to know what this conversation was?”

“Probably not,” Phil shrugged. “I’m guessing we’ll need to talk to them?” 

“No, don’t!” came a muffled voice from the air vents. 

“I’m sorry. We only talk to adults when they’re not in vents.” Phil said without taking his eyes off of Natasha. Not a second later, Clint landed a few paces behind him with the grace of a cat. He gave Phil a kiss on the cheek and leaned on the man’s desk.

“Why not?” Natasha asked Clint.

“I’m having fun.” Clint shrugged, “I mean come on. One of the world’s richest people, A literal god, An American relic, and a Hulk. All Avengers, All afraid of lil’ ol’ me. You have to admit that’s kind of cool.” 

Natasha thought about it for a moment before nodding noncommittally, “Yeah, I guess that’s pretty cool.” 

“Just give me, like, a week.” Clint grinned like the Cheshire cat.

—

It took Clint three days to get sick of his newfound power. It was fun at first, ordering the Avengers around but nobody really challenged him to anything (He kept beating Tony at Mario Kart which was fun the first five times but was now boring), nor did the others invite him to do stuff and it was starting to get lonely. At least before he found out the reason behind their strange actions, he chalked it up to each and every single one of the Avengers being weird individuals.

His free reign culminated when Thor spilled hot coffee on him and then apologized profusely for it while the others pretended not to see just so that they wouldn’t get involved. It was surreal. Also, it was definitely the last straw. 

Clint took his shirt off, splashed water on his chest, sighed, and called Phil to clear things up. 

It took no longer than an hour for things to be back in the tower and Clint finally got a shoulder shove from Bruce.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Here on tumblr](http://promptmephlint.tumblr.com/post/160702913406/i-made-my-friend-watch-haikyuu-with-me-last)

**Author's Note:**

> [Here on tumblr](http://promptmephlint.tumblr.com/post/145809050836/i-waited-almost-an-hour-to-get-to-my-room-because)


End file.
